Darkness Leads to a Ray of Hope- Thoughts Post- Election

My life seems to have taken a slight turn since Daylight Savings ended last Sunday night. The nights are getting longer, days shorter. My Facebook feed has been flooded with intensely emotional posts from angry, petrified folks following an election that left so many in shock after unexpected results. Donald Trump was declared the 45^th President of the United States early Wednesday morning. Wednesday and Thursday I found myself weak, depressed, and confused; desiring to be with others and at the same time craving alone time; wanting to read about post-election thoughts, but also needing a break from all the stress.

It’s as if I was thrown into reality- as if I was being told to face the dark nights, and be ready to enter a phase with a leader that has publicly shamed women, people of the LGBTQ community, Muslims, and other minority groups. But one whom, at the same time, may bring back the positive US/Israel relations that the last president tried to diminish.

I find myself genuinely interested in the Black Lives Matter movement, in which candidate would truly be fit for President, in rights for the LGBTQ community, with whom I identify. I feel that, with this difficult season called winter coming up, I am facing the reality of a world that is divided, and being forced to choose on which side to stand. But I’m also witnessing a surge in action, of people who are donating their time and money, fearful that organizations will be wiped out under the leadership of President Trump. And that is a truly remarkable thing.

It is my belief that everything is in the hands of G-d, and perhaps there was a reason for the downfall of the Democratic candidate that dozens upon dozens of people came to love. How many people would leave their warm homes to contribute their time to Big Brothers Big Sisters, an organization pairing mentors with under-privileged kids, were Clinton elected President? How many people donated to the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, NARAL Pro-Choice America, the Sierra Club- a pro-environmental organization, and the legal advocacy group ACLU, due to Trump's victory? 

Perhaps the election results were not a bad thing. It sparks a level of activism that comes from emotions that we don't get to see in our society. Maybe it's a reality check of what's been happening, what should be happening, and what we want to see in our future.

Happy, But Grieving

Eleven weeks ago- the day I moved to Boston, I settled into my mom’s 2-bedroom apartment in Brighton. This followed many months of visits to Beantown to check out the community and jobs in the area, something I was pulled to do by some logistical- and spiritual draw after living in New York for the last 7 years.

That day I moved into my mom’s place, I had not yet found my own apartment- this was a stopover until a potential September 1^st move-in. Since then, I’ve been blessed with a preschool job that I love- enthusiastic to prepare for my 2 and 3-year-old lessons about transportation, Rosh Hashana, and the Parsha. I’ve found a beautiful home in which to live, with kind roommates who seem to be seeking the same connections with other young professionals that I have slowly starting forming with others in Cambridge. I’m in close distance to my family, to whom I make monthly (or more frequent) Shabbat visits.

But when you say yes to one opportunity, you say no to another. And for that, I grieve. I chose to live in Boston. And I have no doubts or regrets about the move, and the life I currently live. But in saying yes to that, I said no to the short-term, yet fulfilling farm and environmental opportunities that did, and currently do, flood my inbox on a regular basis- an online farming course at Cornell, a crew position at a New York farm, a fellowship that teaches about local food systems. Three months working here, six months education there. That’s not what I want right now. I want a home, a community, long-term stability.

But- on some level- the memories of farm life- and the potential of what could have been- haunt me. They lead me to an anxious mind, a broken spirit. A period of mourning. Yet I know that despite the passion, the accomplishment, the home I’ve built in environmental communities, I’ve grown up and moved on to new life in Beantown.

Life in Boston So Far

For those of you who don't know, I moved to Boston about 11 weeks ago. Many people asked me why I moved- and now- how life is. "Good," I say. "Busy." But not much more than that. This gives me a chance to fill in folks who are not a part of my daily life- to give them- you- a scoop of my new life in Beantown. And- to be honest- it helps to unload some of the pressures with the new move and obstacles I will face.

Some of these posts may be about preschool, others about the social life that's starting to pan out. Yet others may simply be a reflection of my current, or past experiences. They may vary from formal to informal. I'm not sure how long I intend to keep this up for. But for now, I hope this gives you an idea of my new life in Boston.

With my nieces Batsheva (3) and Shayna (2)