I've been feeling sorry for myself these last few months- I knew
this was a pattern, that, as winter hit, so did my mood, in the negative
direction. Something about the cold days and the sky getting dark at an early
hour causes my mood- along with many others I’m sure- to drop into depression.
As 2017 passed and 2018 arrived, I wanted to do something
that would perhaps raise my spirits. I started going to the gym, wanting to use
up my membership before it expired. Should I renew my subscription? I asked my
mom, considering I only went to the gym about four times in the past year. No,
she said, unless you think you will really push yourself. I decided to renew
and since then have been going to the gym 3 times a week for at least an hour.
As a result, I’ve been feeling better about myself. In the past, I would blame
my lack of going on it being too cold, my being too busy. But now I make it a
point to go at least 2 or 3 times a week.
In addition, I had a conversation with a fellow community
member about her work at Big Brother Big Sister, an organization that pairs a “Big,”
a mentor, with a “Little,” a child. About a month later I applied to become a Big,
and have since then had an interview and am waiting on reference checks before
I start being matched up with a little girl aged 7-12.
Last week I volunteered with a couple of friends at a
homeless shelter. I didn’t feel like I did much, honestly, but could tell the
people who were left in charge of the shelter that evening really appreciated
my help.
I don’t know if it’s been mostly exhaustion, or laziness, or the
cold weather- or all three equally, that has made me want to stay inside rather than
endure the hassle of getting bundled up with gloves, a scarf, a hat, boots, and
jacket and going outside only to remove this winter gear as soon as I get to my
destination. But I know that when I do make the effort, I feel better about
myself. And when doing so in order to help other people, it certainly lifts my
spirits and gives me the social push I need to feel good long after.
