I’ve been
here for just over a year. Connecting with others in the Jewish community hasn’t
been easy. I’ve gone to
Netivot dinners; ice cream socials for the 20’s and 30’s
sponsored by the local Temple Beth Shalom synagogue; Shabbat Lunch and Learns at Harvard Hillel; I’ve both hosted and gone out to meals. But
connections have gone no further than these events and activities, and often I
end up asking people’s names and a recap of their occupation, and them mine.
With perhaps some additional bits to the conversation, we part and if I see
them again it’s the same cycle.
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| Temple Beth Shalom in Cambridge |
Perhaps I’m
searching too deeply for something that doesn’t exist. Perhaps I should be satisfied
with these interactions that can simply go no further than an
every-now-and-then Shabbat meal.
Someone
close to me recently suggested that I allow myself to experience the superficiality
of these conversations and accept the loneliness when the conversations end.
But I don’t want to live a lonely life. People are not meant to be alone- and
certainly not me.
So why is it
taking so long to connect?
I mourned
over the possibility of living with loneliness, and then something else came to
mind. I remembered researching online Meetup events in the past and finding a
bar that holds Queeraoke night once a week. The night following this
conversation I got dressed and headed out to Midway Café in Jamaica Plain. I
met some folks and ended up spending much of the night with a girl, dancing and
hooking up. I felt connected and on a high.
The
following week I joined a running group. We ran 3 miles, beginning from the
Davis train station and up to Alewife Brook Parkway. The endorphins kicked in
after the run and I went back the following week.
I’ve even
taken the T on frequent Friday nights to ImprovBoston for a comedy lineup, a
women’s night, a mainstage show. And I’ve genuinely enjoyed myself,
interacting with the bartender, buying a cider, and feeling a general sense of
relief and release.
Needless to say, I'm not feeling the spiritual calling that the Jewish New Year- coming up in just a couple of days- is supposed to bring- the desire for a connection to G-d, to our faith.
