A few weeks ago I went to Vermont on a Shabbaton with a group of folks
from Moishe House in Cambridge. I’ve been looking to get away for Shabbat, my
weeks stressful not just from preschool but from co-workers with strong
personalities, their years of experience clouding their vision for ideas that
differ than theirs (more on that in another post).
When I saw the posting for the retreat, I inquired and found out we
would be spending Shabbat at Big Bear’s Lodge in Dover, with a trip apple
picking that Sunday. I didn’t know the level of Shabbat observance (although
they had insisted the food would be Kosher), and realized that in order to make
it I would need to leave at a time that would have me riding in a car after
Shabbat began. As per previous posts, I’d become lax in my Shabbat observance,
in lieu of getting out and connecting with others. Being in an area of
Cambridge that is relatively far from synagogues and Jewish community, I was
looking for a way to connect with others that would help de-stress from work
and the week.
After arriving at the Moishe House and helping to load up the car, we
were off. The ride was smooth, yet crowded. Upon arrival within a few short
hours, we unloaded our belongings and set up for Shabbat. Some folks had
already arrived, and the last group was due to arrive shortly.
The weekend was filled with activities ranging from playing games to
taking walks to relaxing in the spa just out on the patio. It was luxurious.
The 3-story house belonged to a lawyer who frequently rented his place to a group
such as us- we were greeted with clean towels, a beautiful home with a foosball
table and hot tub, and the sounds of crickets at night and birds in the
morning.
In addition to Kiddush and Motzi, a couple of philosophical
conversations created a more Shabbat atmosphere. Much of the time was spent by
the non Shomer-Shabbat participating in more secular activities- spending time
on their phones, schmoozing in the hot tub, taking selfies with the red,
yellow, orange, and brown trees surrounding us, yet the Shabbat atmosphere- the
feeling of calmness- was obvious and present.
The weekend with Moishe House reminded me of a couple of years ago when
I was in Detroit for a good friend’s wedding. Aside from the very different
experience (the Detroit wedding consisting of mingling with the family and
friends of the bride in a shomer Shabbat atmosphere, verses Vermont, with new
friends in the Shabbat observance more relaxed), this weekend with Moishe House
featured an array of activities for participants. However, at some points I
decided I needed time for myself, to sleep instead of participating in the
group discussion, to go on a walk on my own instead of with the group. And just
as I did this without guilt in Detroit- the first time I truly accepted myself
for needing this time and space- I allowed myself to do this here as well. My insistence
on staying at the house instead of joining the others for a hike was met with
confusion and concern, yet I assured this young woman who had invited me that I
was doing something for me, not due to something that “happened.”
It was a beautiful weekend. At times I felt I was surrounded by a group
of fast-paced folks with more of a desire to take selfies than live in the moment;
to talk to fill up space rather than just *be;* and at times I did feel
overwhelmed. But- without feeling guilty, I took care of myself while
connecting with others when I was ready. And this made the weekend in Vermont
wonderful. And perhaps allows for further connection with these folks in the
future.
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